apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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