and she was petting her beer can
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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