on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
