i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
