I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's blow job season.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
