At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
