Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
