He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
