Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
