if i can run in heels then i can drive
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
