I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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