Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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