that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
