i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
