I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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