i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
