did you get engaged???
I think I won the penis lottery.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
