Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
