Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
