I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
