yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
do nipples grow back?
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