No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
