Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
