oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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