We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
