I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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