no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
