im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
