the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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