That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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