all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's blow job season.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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