SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
