I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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