so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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