IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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