I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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