she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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