Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
