does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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