You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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