so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
