if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
