Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
there is glitter all over my balls
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
