i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
