I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
