I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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