Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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