Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
