I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
