I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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